* Not so funny after England took away the series

Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism? A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket? A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman? A. An allrounder. Read the rest of this entry »

Fernando Alonso took a fortuitous sixth victory of the season in the German Grand Prix at Hockenheim as arch-rival Kimi Raikkonen’s title hopes went up in smoke.

The Renault ace walked away with a 36-point lead in the championship chase after Raikkonen’s McLaren failed him while leading the race.

Juan Pablo Montoya battled through from the back of the grid after his qualifying crash to finish second ahead of BAR’s Jenson Button, who out-duelled Michael Schumacher with an audacious overtaking move in the second half of the race.

A guy from Newfoundland is sitting at the bar in Edmonton and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes. The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, “Is your date running late? ” No,”he replies, “I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.” The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?” The Newfoundlander explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.” The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?” “Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.” The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!” The Newfoundlander smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s running about an hour fast … can I buy you a drink?”

It’s taken three years for me to convert my travel photo negatives onto a CD but I’m nearly finished. I’ve loaded some of them into my Flickr account, click on the following link to view my sets

Juan Pablo Montoya won today’s British Grand Prix at Silverstone to claim his first victory for Team McLaren Mercedes since joining earlier this year and his fifth in Formula One. Team mate Kimi Raikkonen finished the 60-lap race in third position and set the fastest time of the race on the final lap, having fought his way up from 12th overcoming a ten place penalty on the grid, to ensure that two Team McLaren Mercedes drivers stood on the podium. Juan Pablo and Kimi were split by Championship leader Fernando Alonso.

The race victory was made extra special for the team and the drivers as many of the people working at the McLaren Technology Centre in Woking and Mercedes Benz in Brixworth were able to attend the race.

Ten minutes before the start, all the drivers and the Team Principals gathered at the front of the grid for a minute’s silence as a mark of respect for the victims of Thursday’s London bombings.

As the lights went out in front of a capacity 100,000 crowd at Silverstone Juan Pablo moved from third to first in the opening two corners after an exciting battle with Alonso. However the Mercedes Benz Safety Car came out as Sato was blocking the track but by this point Kimi had already moved from 12 to eighth. The race was on again at the end of lap 2 as the Safety Car came in.

On lap five, Juan Pablo led Alonso by a second and Kimi was really pushing Michael Schumacher hard for seventh place but was unable to pass until the first round of pitstops where the Finn passed both Michael and Jarno Trulli.

Both Juan Pablo and Kimi were on two-stop strategies. Juan Pablo came in for fuel on laps 22 (8.8 seconds) and 44 (6.6 seconds), whilst Kimi pitted on laps 26 (8 seconds) and 45 (6 seconds).

Following today’s race Kimi remains second in the Drivers’ World Championship with 51 points whilst Juan Pablo is sixth with 26 points. Team McLaren Mercedes is second in the Constructors’ rankings with 87 points.

Webber is now tenth in the standings after finishing 11th in the British Grand Prix. Let’s hope we all see a better result in the next round at Hockenheim, Germany on the 24th July.