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Archive for 2005
10yr School Reunion
As I journey towards my 28th year of life (October 23), I start to think the years are just flying by, but it’s only really put into perspective after you find an invitation to your 10year high school renuion in the mail.
I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since I hung up my boater, finished my HSC, stopped playing sport, no more essays, etc etc.
Now my thoughts start to question whether I should really go, I mean, there are positives & negatives to school reunions. If it’s anything like our 5 year reunion then I’m accepting today, let’s just say it was a painfully funny evening. Arrrgh bugger it, I’m going!!!
Update !!!!!!! (23rd October 2005)
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New Contiki Tour
CONTIKI - South Western Sydney Lowlights 9 DAY TOUR
DAY 1 - Meet your new travel-mates at the F1 hotel in Beautiful Emu Plains. At night you have the chance to score your own crack in Cabramatta.
DAY 2 -After breakfast we will get mugged in Minto before having lunch at Blacktown KFC. Tonight why not participate in a riot at Macquarie Fields!
DAY 3 - Today is your choice! You have the option of fishing in Blacktown Creek or taking a day-trip to the Kings Cross Heroin Injecting Room. Tonight we experience a cabaret show at Rooty Hill RSL, “The Vegas of the West”.
DAY 4 - After seeing the real bullet holes in the walls of Granville Police Station, we will get car-jacked in Sefton before being an accomplice in a stolen WRX and ram-raiding a cigarette store in Fairfield.
DAY 5 - Today we will get the s**t bashed out of us in downtown Punchbowl by a gang of 30 or 40. We will have lunch at Auburn Macca’s before an afternoon swim in the Parramatta River. Tonight is party night as we head up the coast to classy Club Troppo.
DAY 6 -An early start today as we witness a convenience store hold-up in Blackett. We then have an opportunity to get knifed in Bonnyrigg. Tonight we get caught up in a riot at a Canterbury Bulldogs game.
DAY 7 -This morning is another early start as Silverwater Prison is the backdrop to our group photo (optional). We then take part in a shoot-up at picturesque Lakemba. Tonight is an included dinner in the Bistro at Blacktown RSL.
DAY 8 - Today is a free day to explore the beautiful suburb of Mt. Druitt at your leisure.
DAY 9 - Today we explore Villawood Detention Centre. In the afternoon why not take part in a guided tour down Everleigh St, Redfern. In the evening a chance to farewell your new friends at the end of tour dinner at Krispy Kreme Penrith.
The entire 9 days travelling in the comfort of a Ford Escort with bullet-proof windows and sub-woofer.
Accommodation :6 nights accommodation in F1 Hotels. 3 nights in Best Western Hotels.
Day song - “I shot the Sheriff”. Wake-up song - “Gangster’s Paradise”.
Driver - Wazza. Tour Leader - Mustafa.
Only $199 plus food fund. (Personal Injury insurance of $4000 not included)
For Further information please free call 1800-CONTIKI
Horse Riding
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has not ridden before.
She mounts the horse unassisted. The horse immediately springs into action. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace. The blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but slides down the side of the horse. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to it’s slipping rider.
Finally,after losing her grip she attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse’s hooves as her head is repeatedly struck against the ground.
She is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Frank, the Woolworths trolley boy sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.
Pinch my nipples!
A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won’t work.
The clerk tells her that he can’t give her a refund because she bought it on special. Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, “PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!”
The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front a growing crowd of customers. The manager goes to the woman and asks,
“Ma’am what’s wrong?”
She explained the problem with the toaster, and he tells her that he can’t give her a refund because she bought it on special. Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming
“PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!”
And doing so draws and even bigger crowd! In shock, the store manager pleads “Ma’am, why are you saying that?”
In a huff, the woman says, “BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I’m being SCREWED!!”
The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded !
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